Learning to Not Fear Painting

Somewhere along the way I had the idea that I couldn’t draw or paint.  I don’t remember exactly where it came from, but I remember bits and pieces.  I remember an art class in high school where we had mini pencil drawings for homework.  We had to draw certain things:  toothpaste, a pencil, etc.  I could never get them perfect, so I never turned them in.  Eventually I dropped the class.

I don’t blame that art class or teacher at all.  I already had it in my head that I couldn’t do it and what I did do wasn’t good enough.  Right now I can think of a hundred different ways to draw a tube of toothpaste to make it interesting.  Too bad the adult me couldn’t go back and talk to the teenage me.

We were lucky enough to have a jeweler as an art teacher in our high school who offered jewelry class.  I was so excited.  I loved making beaded jewelry as child and I was thrilled to try my hand at metalsmithing.  Day one:  draw your design.  I dropped the class.  I feel so sad for the teenage me.  I want to tell her to just do it.  Ironic now, considering my business, I know.  No, I’m not a metalsmith, but I could have been if I wasn’t so scared.

I had a block where drawing was concerned.  A huge, Chinese Wall size block.  My friends were amazing artists.  My home still has paintings from my closest high school friend’s paintings.  I was so jealous of their abilities and talents.

I have no problem with not being good at something.  There are tons of things I will never be good at.  For example, algebra (I still don’t understand why we need it at all.....does anyone use it as an adult?), among many other things.

The problem was I really wanted to be an artist.

I had natural talent at music, so I focused on that throughout high school and college.  I was good at it.  I enjoyed it.  I was passionate about it for a time.  Actually, I’m still really passionate about music, but in a different way.  I learned to play many different instruments.  In fact, there’s a trumpet at Building Character that I just surprised myself at still (sort of) being able to play.  (I was a woodwinds girl, but I learned to play as many instruments as possible.) 

I made great friends, had a lot of fun and have the best memories (and some of my darkest points, too, honestly) because of music.

But I really wanted to be an artist.

Now I’m an adult.  I’m grown.  I don’t really care too much about what anyone thinks of me.  Several years ago I started making jewelry again in my own way.  Some people get it, other people don’t.  That is all fine and perfect.  I’m at peace.  I even draw designs before I make them sometimes - with no fear! 

Several months ago I used an A.C. Moore coupon to purchase a nice watercolors set at a great deal.  I felt brave and that I wanted to try it. 

And it sat there.  Unopened.  Beautiful.  Perfect.  Unopened.

 
Then I was getting married.  I handmade everything for my wedding.  Every detail.  I had a design for my invitations and couldn’t find the right stamp.  My wedding was green (eco-friendly + the color green!) by the river, and in the woods and I wanted bare trees on everything.  I couldn’t find what I wanted.  Then it hit me:  I’ll paint them.
 
I tried it and I loved how the invitations turned out.  I also didn’t have a fear in the world that it wouldn’t work out.  I knew it would be perfect and it was.

What’s more, I loved painting.  I love the feel of the bush in my hand.  I love watching the paint get put down on the paper.  It’s not as much about the end result as the process. 

I felt very connected to each and every invitation because I painted each one.  I also designed every other aspect and put them together, too, but I felt most connected with the painting.

I just painted plain brown branches.  And I haven’t really painted anything other than trees so far.  It’s a start, though.  I plan to continue.

I’m sorry that I missed out on all those years of art.  If I would have just done it for myself and not for an art teacher or my artistic friends or anyone else, I could have been enjoying myself much sooner.  I doubt if I would have been an art major instead of a music major, but I would have realized so much earlier that it’s okay to not be perfect.  My favorite artists aren’t the ones who paint realistically anyway! 

If there is something you are wanting to try out:  drawing, painting, scrapbooking, jewelry making, sewing, etc., etc., etc..... DO IT!  Nothing bad will happen, I promise you.  Do it for yourself.  If you don’t like the outcome, don’t show it to anyone!  If you want to try again, do it.

There is nothing to fear, I promise you.  If you are afraid of someone’s reaction, then simply don’t show them.  Do it for yourself!

Do not waste years of your life thinking you suck at something that you really want to do. 

And if you realize you hate it after you try it, you don’t have to do it anymore.  At least you won’t wonder anymore.  You can’t regret not trying if you do try!

If what you are lacking is the knowledge or skills to get going on your artist dreams, then figure itout.  Or make it up.  I mostly make it up, truth be told. 

If you want a little help, check out my digital programs for some help.  I’ll even virtually hold your hand - email me anytime if you get stuck!  If you want to make dolls or jewelry, I’ve got you covered.  (And I’m working on my next big project!  All about keys!  Make keys into all kinds of different jewelry!)

If you want to paint, grab some paint and paper and have at it!  If you want to draw, you can do that anywhere.  Right now, on a scrap paper with the pen laying right next to your computer.  Stop now and draw something.  It doesn’t have to be a masterpiece, but it could be. 

It doesn’t have to be complicated or a big deal.  What one little thing can you do to get started on your art path?

• Cut out a coupon for your art store? 
• Pick up a pencil and draw? 
• Purchase a design-a-doll digital program and read through it? 
• Clear out a space in your home for creating?

Do your first step and let us all know what you’re doing, if you want.  Or keep it to yourself if you want.  It’s not about anyone else, afterall, it’s about you.

How I Found My Confidence Today

I haven't been clothes shopping in . . . well, let's say it's been so long that I can't really be sure.  

Generally speaking, I hate clothes shopping.  Nothing fits right, nothing looks right, I have to try on what feels like thousands of pieces of clothing to find maybe 2 outfits.  Then you see yourself in whatever you wore into the store and it looks hideous and you can't believe it's your favorite outfit and you just want to throw out all of your clothes.  But then you can't find anything new to wear either.

Maybe it's just me?

Sometimes, though, I suppose you just have to buck up and go clothes shopping.

Saturday was the day for me.  I couldn't pass up an awesome sale + a great coupon I had.  I didn't go overboard, but I did purchase a couple outfits and new under-things.  (New under-things are always important.)

Today I wore one of the new outfits to work.  I forgot how wearing a new outfit can make you feel!  I felt more confident.  Plus, a lot of people told me how nice I looked, which felt lovely. 

I should also say, generally speaking I don't really care what other people think about me or especially my clothes.  In turn, I don't care what anyone else is wearing, either.

I couldn't get a good photo of myself in my new outfit, but I was wearing the necklace in the photo when I was clothes shopping on Saturday, and I think it played a huge role in me purchasing this outfit.  The skirt is gorgeous, flowing and brown.  I love the necklace and I love that I have another outfit to wear with it now!

(Side note on the necklace:  I will be writing a tutorial on how to make it!)

Moral of the story:  If you can, splurge a little on something that makes you feel good.  It might be a new outfit or it may be some bath salts.  Or perhaps some green handmade jewelry?  You don't even need to spend money, but do something just for yourself that makes you feel great!  

Go ahead and do it! 

Craft Shows and In-Person Selling

Lancaster PrideFest 6-21-08, originally uploaded by B.B. Bellezza.

Some of you may be surprised (or maybe not!) that I used to be scared to death of selling in person. I started selling online quite a while ago, even before Etsy was around I sold in my shop on eBay. I would sell something, send it off and then wait to see the response in my feedback. I would brace myself and then be relieved that they received what I sent and even liked it!

I lacked self-confidence, really. I also hate confrontation. I don't know what I thought would happen selling in-person. I guess I thought a person would come up to me and say "Hey I hate your stuff." By the way, I have NEVER had that happen and can't imagine that would ever happen. Even if someone doesn't like what you make, they aren't going to come up to you and tell you that they hate it.

When I first started doing shows, I would get so nervous. I have actually been so nervous that I have thrown up. I have also been so scared that I decided not to do a show after pulling up at the venue at the beginning.

It's difficult to believe that I am that same person. Now I love to do shows. I must say, I still do get a little jittery, but it's more about getting set up and hoping that customers come to the show then about people hating my handmade jewelry. I love meeting my customers and hearing their comments.

The only difference is now I have confidence. I am more confident because I have really honed in on what I am making and my skills, but I am also more confident in myself. I know that everyone isn't going to like what I make. A lot of people aren't even going to understand why I would take an old scrabble game and make jewelry out of it. It's okay and I understand that.

I also think that the more shows you get under your belt, the more relaxed and confident you are going to feel. And the more you realize that everyone isn't going to come to your stand and say "I hate your stuff." (Or insert whatever your fear is here!)

So, if you are selling online and scared to give in-person selling a shot, I encourage to try it! It's very rewarding. Try something inexpensive and small to start and move on from there!

Please share your craft show fears below. If you overcame them, let us all know how. If you are scared, maybe we can help you!